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Getting Out There In A Bigger Way Means Overcoming Your Fear of Criticism

QUOTE: "Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine... And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson

During a Mastermind session over a year ago, I got clear on the ONE obstacle that was standing between me and tripling my business past the 7-figure mark. Contrary to what I originally thought, it wasn't a lack of knowledge, of what to do next or a marketing challenge. I actually knew exactly what to do to double or triple my business. For me, it was a question of leveraging my time, my marketing and my resources so that I can help many, many more solo-preneurs get more clients, create systems for marketing, clean up their mindset and give them the tools and the permission to succeed (I teach this heavy-duty stuff in my upcoming workshop). That's my purpose and it's actually fun for me.

What WAS holding me back was something much more internal. It was the deeply ingrained fear that the bigger I got, meaning the bigger my business got, the more I would make myself a target for criticism and "pot shots".

Here's why:

For years, I'd witnessed women entrepreneurs truly succeed and watched as others simultaneously began to pick them apart, to criticize them and sometimes trash them, even when they didn't know them. Have you noticed that too? Ironically enough, it's usually other women doing the criticizing (instead of the supporting), and I'm sad to say, I've sometimes partaken in that in the past too, even when I didn't know the person. I deeply regret it now, and not just because I am now in the very same position.

In fact, it even happened just last week, when I sent out a picture of me being celebrated for my recent business accomplishments by my mentor (private jet, limos, a party in my honor, etc.) I received dozens of yummy emails, phone calls and FaceBook notes saying it was an inspiration to others to see this. And then, there were also a couple of harsh emails, obviously meant to cut me down. I'll tell you, even just a year ago, it would have devastated me to read those (FYI, my team doesn't usually let me see the bad ones - which I would recommend you set up as a system). These days though, I realize it has NOTHING to do with me.

It's just that particular individual's resentment of not being in the same place yet. It's them thinking that perhaps something's wrong with THEM and then they need to park that anger someplace other than themselves. I know because it's the same resentment I used to feel years ago when I wanted so badly to have "arrived" too, and I was wondering why it hadn't happened to ME yet.

Somehow, it seems that the bigger in business you get, the more people feel entitled to take you down. My friend Valerie Hayes (PageantInterviewCoach.com) coaches her pageant contestant clients that as they become more of a 'celebrity', they must recognize that they're now a target for gossip and to just "deal with it". As she says, it's just a part of human conditioning and that you can't do anything about it. It almost means you've "arrived", a signal of success.

What she also shared with me is that if people are criticizing YOU, it's almost never about you, but about THEM. When you put yourself out there in a BIG way, you have to realize there WILL be a backlash. I believe it threatens or intimidates people when you have the courage to stand out a little bit more. It's that Tall Poppy syndrome that Australians talk about, meaning, tall poppies need to be cut down when they grow higher than other flowers in the field. Funny enough, poppies are one of my very favorite flowers and I have paintings of them in my office. Perhaps I was born to be a Tall Poppy. What about you?

The solution for getting over the fear of criticism that comes from getting bigger is to come from a place of Compassion and Purpose. Compassion because I believe that deep down, people don't mean to be malicious (I didn't when I was the one taking the pot shots). It's just their own "stuff" that comes up, feelings of inadequacy, resentment or jealousy that they haven't arrived yet.

If this is something you fear, something that keeps you from playing BIG, realize that their personal issues are not your problem, so ignore them, with compassion, especially if you've been there too at one point. Then, focus on your Purpose, because when you stay focused on the purpose for your business (helping OTHERS), then anything else becomes secondary, even if it hurts sometimes. Focus on your leadership and power as being something that SERVES and INSPIRES others, not hurts others. In doing so, you'll shine and then give others permission to shine.

In a battle between Fear of Criticism and Helping Others, courage will take you through the fear and into doing the right thing, despite what snippy people will say. The bottom line is, the 'yummy' people will stay and that's all that matters:

"Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind." - Dr. Seuss.

Your Client Attraction Assignment:

Have you been holding yourself back in marketing because of fear of growing too big and being criticized? You've heard me say this a thousand times: "It's your DUTY to get out there and market your services in a big way because it's your DUTY to help others." Your fear of criticism is simply your ego wanting to protect itself from the unknown, wanting you to stay small and stay safe. Fact is, it doesn't serve YOU or anyone else to stay small.

Look at fear in the face and start thinking about the worst-case-scenario. What's the worst that can happen if you get criticized a little? Would you die? Probably not. Would you survive? Probably yes. THEN, look at all the upsides to moving through your fear of growing your business bigger. List all the wonderful things that would come from it and live from THAT place. Remember, Successful People feel the fear, and they do it anyway. And now it's your turn (and mine) to get out there and help even MORE people reach their own dreams. :)

Now, if you're not sure what you need to do to get out there in a BIGGER way with your marketing in the first place, then I urge you to take action and invest in a proven step-by-step marketing system that will get you big results, in a way that will feel easy and authentic to you. The Client Attraction Home Study System™ avoids all the unnecessary stuff and instead gives you the most important things to do to get out there in a big way, set up simple, solid systems, so you consistently fill your pipeline and continually get new clients. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. So easy. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. You can get it at TheClientAttractionSystem.com.

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Be Willing To Do What Others Aren't: Take Action, In Spite Of

Sometimes, you just KNOW there's something you need to take action on to take your business forward. However, if you're anything like me, you've gotten stopped in the past, even when it's something you KNOW will create big results. You procrastinate, you tidy up your office, get another cup of coffee, ANYTHING to not get it done. Ever have that happen to you?

There are different reasons why you may be stalling from taking action. It could be that you don't know the next steps, that you're not sure how to move forward. That happens, but that's not what we're talking about today. Most likely, it's something deeper.

For me, the procrastination in moving forward is directly tied to the outcome, especially when the outcome really means a lot to me. When it's something meaningful, something BIG, it's a combination of, "Wow, I hope I don't screw this up" and simultaneously, "What will happen if I succeed? Can I really handle the success and the abundance that will come my way? Am I really cut out for this much good stuff coming into my life?" (Just writing that seems ridiculous, but that's what sometimes comes up, and I KNOW I'm not the only one.)

That's what I call your INNER game of Client Attraction (mindset) dictating your OUTER game of Client Attraction (marketing.)

Although I'm usually focused and take a no-excuses approach to getting things done, it happened again recently. I had set aside the time to finalize a big project and instead, I found myself doing things I "used" to do: going to eat something instead of sitting down to write it, cleaning out my office, even wiping down the desk, shopping for shoes online, and then I realized what was really happening.

I was momentarily being stretched past my comfort zone.

You see, this project is something I've wanted to do for a long time. It's everything I'm passionate about. It's about giving people the real-life tools they need to market their business, while getting them out of their OWN way, so they can actually succeed. It's my passion, it's my dream, and it's my calling (just reading that gets me choked up.) So, as you can see, this isn't a light thing for me. There's a lot at stake, both professionally and personally. And actually DOING it has me feeling a little uncomfortable. Thoughts keep creeping up: "Will they want it? Will they pay for it? Will they come?"

That creepy gremlin of self-doubt reared its ugly head once again. I thought I'd clobbered him, but he was back. Thing is, I wasn't going to let him win once again. So this time, I decided to take ACTION, in spite of the fear, in spite of the uncomfortable feelings of self-doubt.

The key was to recognize WHAT was stopping me from taking action. What was at the core? What was this all about? Once that was clear, I chose an action that would move me forward, in spite of any negative feelings, or what my inner critic or gremlins were telling me.

Then, I wrote down the action I wanted to get done THAT DAY. Just ONE action step. Admittedly, it FELT massive, but it was just one thing to do. Next, I asked myself how it would feel at the end of the day, having accomplished that one goal, that one action. I envisioned being really proud of myself, happy inside, and knowing that I had done something really good today. The day had not been wasted. Once that was done, I got to work on the task I'd been pushing off.

Well, every time this happens, the result is always the same. YES, the first few minutes are uncomfortable. I'm fidgety, a little anxious, I dread it. But once the flow gets going, once I'm committed to the project, it all just glides from there. When I'm in the flow, ideas start to surface that I hadn't thought about, concepts start to come together, and the whole thing just takes shape, making it easier than I thought it would have been.

After a while, you get a rush. That uninterrupted flow of creativity starts to take over and it's like you're riding a wave. At the end of the day, you're feeling a high, a pride, and a real sense of accomplishment. Not just because you took a step FORWARD for your business, but because you took that step IN SPITE OF.

Your Client Attraction Assignment:

So, I ask you today. What is it that you've been putting off? What is it that has great importance to you that you've been procrastinating on? What's one thing that, if you got it done today, would move your business forward immeasurably? What could you take action on, in spite of any feelings of discomfort, knowing that once it's done, you'll feel AMAZING?

Write down the action you will take, then the FEELING you will have after accomplishing it at the end of the day (or preferably, by 11am?) Focus on that feeling and just begin it.

Remember, successful people are simply people who are willing to do what others aren't. Are you willing to do that? It's a new way of looking at your life and your business: the no-excuses approach. Once you do, Client Attraction becomes big time easy.

I don't get out of bed in the morning to be average, to do what everyone else does. How about you? Try it.

OK, now you're ready to take action, but what if you aren't sure what to do to get clients? Then get a copy of the Client Attraction Home Study System™. I've outlined every Client Attraction technique in detail, and it's all there so you can start using it right away to get similar results. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. SO easy. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. You can get yours at TheClientAttractionSystem.com. Why struggle when you can just model a system that already works?

Did You Get Lazy In Marketing? (If You Want More Clients, Do What You USED To Do)

It's a phenomenon that happens to most people in business for themselves after a few years. When solo-entrepreneurs first get started in marketing their business, they have gusto, they have energy, and many take a no-excuses approach to getting clients. They're WILLING to do what it takes, and they do it often (most of them).

But after a few years, they begin to rest on their laurels, they get lazy, and after a while, they stop doing what they used to do to get clients. Some stop networking; some stop doing free intro classes, either in person or over the phone; some no longer do as much speaking as they used to. They've slowed down their marketing, and then they wonder what's happened to their pipeline: it's empty.

Oh, and I hear a whole bunch of excuses as to why they're no longer doing these things, too. There's always a YEAH-BUT... "I don't FEEL like doing that anymore," or "I've already done that, it won't work again," or even "I'm tired, I don't want to work that hard." Some even begin to wonder if they should stay self-employed, ready to give up.

As a result of the excuses, the well continues to dry up and they find themselves digging the well when they're thirsty (Not fun: it creates sleepless nights and financial troubles.) Then, the fear sets in and they scramble for NEW things to do. Ever done that?

It seems they want to reinvent the wheel. They're looking for new ways of doing things and this creates a sometimes frenetic, frantic approach to getting clients. I believe this ties into the "Bright Shiny Object Syndrome" we talked about recently, always looking for something new to do, something exciting, while leaving behind the proven stuff.

However, what I've learned over the years is, doing something new doesn't always create results as quickly. The systems aren't as easy to put in place and there's always a learning curve for new stuff. What clients are surprised to hear is that, instead of creating BRAND new strategies, sometimes, we begin by going back to doing the tried-and-true, proven things that worked very well for us in the past. We go back to the basics: Marketing Pie 101.

Why reinvent the wheel when you can go back and do the simple things that are proven to work?

Your Client Attraction Assignment:

My thoughts on this: You either have EXCUSES or you have RESULTS.

So, my questions for you are:

• What have you been UNWILLING to do recently to get clients that USED to work for you?
• Have you stopped doing something that you did regularly in the beginning?
• Where have you gotten lazy?
• What used to work for you in the early days?
• Are you doing this now?
• Are you WILLING to do this now?

If now's the time for you to ramp up your client load, then stop everything and take a look at your Marketing Pie. Which slices of the pie are you implementing regularly? Are you not being consistent with your marketing?

It's time to go back to the basics. And, it's time to recommit. The funny thing is, when you recommit and you start doing these things again, they WORK. And what happens is, you start getting clients, more mo'ney starts pouring in, and you begin to LIKE doing these things again. Marketing becomes FUN again. Your whole demeanor changes. And, you instantly become more Client Attractive as a result. THEN, once the foundation is in, you can start adding in all the new stuff. Try it. It always works for me and my clients.

Now, if you're stuck with what to do to fill your practice in the FIRST place, then follow a step-by-step system that feels easy and authentic to you. The Client Attraction Home Study System™ avoids the "Bright Shiny Object Syndrome" and instead gives you the most important things to do to set up simple, solid systems, so that you consistently fill your pipeline and continually get new clients. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. Easy. You can get it at TheClientAttractionSystem.com.

Get Past Procrastination: My 5 Steps to Getting It ALL Done

Have you ever looked at your to-do list and just wanted to run away? Sometimes, procrastination gets the best of us self-employed people. It seems that everything is a priority and we tend to put some things on the back burner. The thing is, if the items on your to-do list have to do with marketing and Client Attraction, then you don't want to ignore them (if you do, your pipeline of prospects will be empty in 6 months, or less).

Procrastination creeps its ugly head in my business every now and then. Personally, I think it's more overwhelm than procrastination and the list can be so overwhelming that I tend to go into avoidance/denial mode, preferring to just not deal with it. (Has that ever happened to you too?)

Realistically, you can't ignore having to market yourself, so you sometimes just have to bite the bullet and do what it takes. Here's my personal action checklist to take me from procrastination to massive action:

1. Prioritize: Your list may be a mile long or just a half page long. Either way, the best way to get into action is to sort out what your return on investment for each item on your list is going to be (financially, time-wise, resource-wise) and then sort them by the one that will reap the most benefits (e.g., clients and re-venue) from the littlest output on your part. You'll start with that one.
2. What's getting in the way? Sometimes, I find procrastination is more about something getting in the way than anything else. It could be you don't have every piece of the puzzle to be able to move forward into accomplishing something. It could be you don't know how to do ONE aspect of it. It could also be that this is a SHOULD and isn't absolutely necessary to your success. Whatever's holding you back, just get clear on it.
3. How long will it REALLY take: I've found that often, I delay on a marketing task (or any task, for that matter) because I anticipate it taking a lot longer than it really will. To get past this, look at a task and ask yourself how long it will realistically take to get done. Then, take out the to-do list and write down the time it will take you to accomplish it next to each item (15 minutes, 2 hours, etc.).
4. Schedule it: Look at your calendar and find time slots that correspond to the time allotment for each task you did above and schedule them, as if they were client appointments you were unable to cancel.
5. Just do it: Once you've got the "task appointments" scheduled in your book, just do them. You'll power through them like you've never done before. It's actually pretty cool.

Your Client Attraction Assignment:

When marketing yourself, take notice of when you start slipping into procrastination mode (it happens to most everyone, believe me). Prioritize the tasks on your list to focus on the ones that will get you the highest return on investment, notice what's getting in the way or what piece is missing, and solve the issue accordingly, establish how long it will take to get done, and then schedule it in your calendar. You'll have no excuse not to do it.

Remember, there's never a point at which you can say (about marketing), "I'm successful now, I might as well take a nap." Notice the very successful entrepreneurs you look up to. They never stop marketing. In fact, they're always adding new things to their existing marketing plans. Do the same. Get past your procrastination and into Client Attraction. ALWAYS BE MARKETING and you'll always have clients (especially if you have systems in place).

You may be wondering WHAT to do to market your business that'll give you the most returns with little effort on your part. If so, I recommend getting the Client Attraction Home Study System™. It gives you the most important things to do to set up simple, solid marketing systems, so that you consistently fill your pipeline and continually get new clients. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. Easy. You can get it at TheClientAttractionSystem.com.