Getting Out There In a Bigger Way Means Overcoming Your Fear of Criticism

QUOTE: "Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine... And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." —Marianne Williamson

During a Mastermind session last week, I got clear on the ONE obstacle standing between me and doubling my business next year. Contrary to what I originally thought, it's not a lack of knowledge, of what to do next or a marketing challenge. I actually know exactly what to do to double my business. For me, it's a question of leveraging my time, my marketing and my resources so that I can help many, many more solo-preneurs get more clients, create systems for marketing, clean up their mindset and give them the tools and the permission to succeed. That's my purpose and it's fun for me.

What's actually been holding me back is something much more internal. It's the deeply ingrained fear that the bigger I get, meaning the bigger my business gets, the more I will make myself a target for criticism and "pot shots". Here's why:

For years, I've witnessed women entrepreneurs truly succeed and watched as others began to pick them apart, to criticize them and sometimes trash them, even when they didn't know them. Have you noticed that too? Ironically enough, it's usually other women doing the criticizing (instead of the supporting), and I'm sad to say, I've partaken in that sometimes too, even when I didn't know the person. I regret it, especially as I'm poised to be in the very same position sometime soon.

Somehow, it seems that the bigger in business you get, the more people feel entitled to take you down. My friend Valerie Hayes (PageantInterviewCoach.com) coaches her pageant contestant clients that as they become more of a ‘celebrity', they must recognize that they're now a target for gossip and to just "deal with it". As she says, it's just a part of human conditioning and that you can't do anything about it. It almost means you've "arrived", a signal of success.

What she also shared with me is that if people are criticizing you, it's almost never about you, but about them. When you put yourself out there in a BIG way, realize there WILL be a backlash. I believe it threatens or intimidates people when you have the courage to stand out a little bit more. It's that Tall Poppy syndrome that Australians talk about, meaning, tall poppies need to be cut down when they grow higher than other flowers in the field. Funny enough, poppies are one of my very favorite flowers and I have paintings of them in my office. Perhaps I was born to be a tall poppy. What about you?

The solution for getting over the fear of criticism from getting bigger is to come from a place of Compassion and Purpose. Compassion because I believe that deep down, people don't mean to be malicious, it's just their own "stuff" that comes up, feelings of inadequacy or jealousy, that they haven't arrived yet.

Their personal issues are not your problem, so ignore them, with compassion, especially if you've been there too at one point. And Purpose because, when you stay focused on the purpose for your business (helping OTHERS), then anything else becomes secondary, even if it hurts sometimes. Focus on your leadership and power as being something that SERVES others, not hurts others and you'll shine and then give others permission to shine.

In a battle between Fear of Criticism and Helping Others, courage will take you through the fear and into doing the right thing, despite what snippy people will say. The bottom line is, the ‘yummy' people will stay and that's all that matters: "Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind." – Dr. Seuss.

Your Assignment:

Have you been holding yourself back in marketing because of fear of growing too big and being criticized? You've heard me say this a thousand times: "It's your DUTY to get out there and market your services in a big way because it's your DUTY to help others." Your fear of criticism is simply your ego wanting to protect itself from the unknown, wanting you to stay small and stay safe. Fact is, it doesn't serve you or anyone else to stay small.

Look at fear in the face and start thinking about the worst-case-scenario. What's the worst that can happen if you get criticized a little? Would you die? Probably not. Would you survive? Probably yes. THEN, look at all the upsides to moving through your fear of growing your business bigger. List all the wonderful things that would come from it and live from THAT place. Remember, Successful People feel the fear, and they do it anyway. And now it's your turn (and mine). :)

If you're not sure what you need to do to get out there in a BIGGER way with your marketing, in the first place, then it's time to take action and invest in a step-by-step marketing system that will feel easy and authentic to you. The Client Attraction Home Study System™ avoids all the unnecessary stuff and instead gives you the most important things to do to get out there in a big way, set up simple, solid systems, so you consistently fill your pipeline and continually get new clients. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. So easy. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. You can get it at TheClientAttractionSystem.com.

© 2007 Client Attraction LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Fabienne Fredrickson, The Client Attraction Mentor, is founder of the Client Attraction System™ and www.ClientAttraction.com the proven step-by-step program to attract more clients, make more m’oney being self-employed, while having more time off to enjoy it all. To receive your F.R.E.E. Audio CD by mail and get weekly how-to articles on attracting more clients, visit www.ClientAttraction.com.

You Don't Need to Learn MORE to Get Clients

"What you have to give is enough--if you give it with all your heart."--Chieko N. Okazaki

For years, I've noticed how many of my clients stopped themselves from marketing because they needed to learn MORE. They'd already gone through the required training, and many were certified, but it was like something strange was in the punch bowl and they were all drinking it: the "I'm Not Enough Yet" fruit punch.

Here are some of the things I heard from some clients and workshop participants. Notice the 'enough' theme:

• I need to learn more to be credible enough.
  
• I need to be an expert for clients to want to work with me and since I'm not an expert, then I don't believe I can do it.
  
• I'm not good enough, I don't know enough.
  
• I don't have enough experience.
  
• I haven't studied enough.
  
• I'm not as good as my competitors, so I need to be more.

Some health practitioners were a perfect example of this. They didn't seem to be ready enough to get out there to attract clients, until they learned more about other holistic modalities: Reiki, herbs, yoga, acupressure, aromatherapy, Chinese Medicine, CranioSacral Therapy, Jin Shin Do, etc. Otherwise, they didn't feel ready to go out there and market themselves in a BIG way.

I wondered where this was coming from. Was it a sense of not 'being enough' as a person? Was it a fear of really exposing themselves, meaning, if you're not "ready" to market yourself fully because you don't know enough, then you won't really ever have to expose yourself and be vulnerable. Was it something about having to be a "good girl" and if you weren't perfect, you weren't "good." Perhaps it was the sense that they weren't whole and they needed more to "complete" them.

Whatever it was, I knew this was a bottomless pit. They would never end up feeling whole, just continuing to LEARN instead of DOING. What I was sure about, is that if you wait to know it ALL before you get out there and market, you'll never actually get out there in a BIG way. There will always be hesitancy and we all know that "He who hesitates is lost." This is a bit like Perfection Paralysis that I sometimes talk about. Except now, it's a false sense of needing to BE perfect.

I wondered where this was coming from. Was it a sense of not 'being enough' as a person? Was it a fear of really exposing themselves, meaning, if you're not "ready" to market yourself fully because you don't know enough, then you won't really ever have to expose yourself and be vulnerable. Was it something about having to be a "good girl" and if you weren't perfect, you weren't "good." Perhaps it was the sense that they weren't whole and they needed more to "complete" them.

Whatever it was, I knew this was a bottomless pit. They would never end up feeling whole, just continuing to LEARN instead of DOING. What I was sure about, is that if you wait to know it ALL before you get out there and market, you'll never actually get out there in a BIG way. There will always be hesitancy and we all know that "He who hesitates is lost." This is a bit like Perfection Paralysis that I sometimes talk about. Except now, it's a false sense of needing to BE perfect.

You don't need to be the expert to do more marketing and to have clients. "Expert" is a relative term. I call myself a Client Attraction expert, but I'm not the only one who talks about marketing your practice so you can fill your practice. And I'm not the one who's been doing it the longest. But I do have a way of doing it that no one else has, not just because of my System, but because of how I deliver the information and WHO I am. My knowledge, my own experiences, my methods, and my energy, all combine to make me different in the marketplace. And it's the same for you.

You see, you can be an expert simply because you know more than the average person. Stop anybody on the street and ask them something technical about what you do (and take for granted), and the likelihood is, they won't have any clue what you're talking about. But YOU could do it in your sleep. If you are a holistic healer, knowing a couple of modalities or just simply how to make brown rice without burning the pot is enough to have people want to work with you. Heck, most people haven't eaten brown rice other than in a Chinese food take-out container, let alone know what it's good for! So, in that sense, you ARE an expert and you DO know enough.

Dan Kennedy has a great saying: "Good enough is good enough." Yes, you can learn MORE and I recommend you do. For example, I read more books, manuals, and home study systems on marketing, manifesting and self-improvement in a year than most people read in a lifetime. But I'm not waiting 'til I know it all, because I never will and neither should you. But you better believe I'm still out there attracting clients, and so should you. Forget 'Perfection Paralysis'! Just get out there more than you are now and it'll all work itself out.

Your Assignment:

Don't let the fact that you don't know it ALL stop you from becoming a mini-expert. You know more than the majority of people and these same people NEED you to market yourself so they can find you. They need the solution you provide. Have confidence in what you do and then go for it.

Then, as you're working with those clients, continually learn more, build a team of people and resources around you so that you always have someplace to turn for an answer if you don't have it at your fingertips. Clients can wait 24 hours for an answer. They don't care, they just want the answer! Remember, if you know that "Good enough is good enough" and you give it all you've got, you will always be enough and your clients will get just what they need. Now, go out there and do what it takes to fill your practice, OK?

That said, if there's ONE thing you do need to know more about, it's marketing your practice. You can be the best 'whatever', but if you don't know how to systematically attract new clients and close the sale, let's face it, you'll never have a full practice. If that's the case, it's time to invest in a step-by-step system that will feel easy and authentic to you. The Client Attraction Home Study System™ avoids all the unnecessary stuff and instead gives you the most important things to do to set up simple, solid systems, so that you consistently fill your pipeline and continually get new clients. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. So easy. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. You can get it at TheClientAttractionSystem.com.

© 2007 Client Attraction LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Fabienne Fredrickson, The Client Attraction Mentor, is founder of the Client Attraction System™ and www.ClientAttraction.com, the proven step-by-step program to attract more clients, make more m’oney being self-employed, while having more time off to enjoy it all. To receive your F.R.E.E. Audio CD by mail and get weekly how-to articles on attracting more clients, visit www.ClientAttraction.com.

One Secret To Dramatically Increase Referrals (and Get More Clients)

To dramatically increase referrals, it's important to educate the people you consider personal advocates (those who know you, like you, trust you, love you, and want the best for you), and let them know what you're up to and who your best clients are.

If you're just starting out, it's a letter of introduction; if you've been in practice several months or years, write an "update letter" on how your practice has grown or new services that you provide.

The fact is, most people who are your personal advocates will be happy to help (people LOVE to give referrals and to help a friend in business, especially when the person is a trusted friend). It makes them feel good, yet most of us somehow feel that we're being a burden on our network when we do this. The good news is, it all depends on how tastefully it's done.
In starting both of my private practices, I sent "warm" letters of introduction letting my friends and family know what I was doing and asking them to think of me when they saw or overheard a particular situation relating to my coaching.

Both times, I received clients right away, and both times, friends also referred people as long after the fact as 6 months to a year after receiving the letter. One referral came 3 years later and it came as a direct result of sending my warm letter of introduction. It feels really gratifying to get those phone calls from people you don't know saying they'd like to work with you.

I sent it to everyone I knew, about 10 to 20 a week. I hand-wrote a couple of words at the top to make it more personal. ("Hi Mary! It's been so long since we've seen each other. Would love to catch up over a cup of tea. I'll call you this week. Best, Fabienne.")

That following week, I would call the person, set up a meeting for breakfast, lunch or tea, get caught up on their life and talk to them about my new business, asking them if anyone they knew fit my ideal client profile.

The result? Word spread and I received a number of my first round of clients and referrals this way. The idea with this letter is to keep it consistently going out to people in your network. The first time around, in my nutrition business, I sent 250 introduction letters out at the same time. You can also send the letters to five or ten people per week, it's up to you. In doing this, you actually set yourself up for getting that first client, that new client or that referral you didn't know was waiting for you.

A Client example:

A client of mine dragged her feet with this idea at first, thinking that it was too sales-y for her personal style and that she wasn't going to get any leads or new clients that way. After some coaxing and coaching, she started the process of sending out letters of introduction.

She was absolutely shocked at the results: new clients started coming in and her friends, former colleagues, school friends, and family were the ones referring them. She was thrilled and years later continues to update her personal advocates on what she's up to, using her update letter.

Your Assignment:

Create and send a "warm" letter of introduction as an announcement or update of your practice to contacts that you already know. This includes everyone (your family, friends and colleagues, past clients and acquaintances), EVERYONE. If you have been in practice several months or years, write an "update letter" of how your practice has grown or new services that you provide. Keep it friendly, as well as educational, but definitely NOT sales-y. Describe your Ideal Client and ask them if they know someone who might fit that profile.

You too will be shocked at how quickly you get new clients and referrals using this simple system. It takes a bit of work upfront, but you'll be singing all the way to the bank! This will be one of your most effective client attraction tools, and best of all, it's relatively no-cost to you!

If you'd like to see the EXACT letter I used (and got a ton of clients with), I recommend getting a copy of the Client Attraction Home Study System™. The letter is right there for you to use on page 91 and will save you LOTS of time and effort (feel free to model it). And while you're at it, the Home Study System will show you the most important things to do to set up simple, solid marketing systems, so that you consistently fill your pipeline and continually get new clients. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. Easy. You can get it at TheClientAttractionSystem.com.

© 2007 Client Attraction LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Fabienne Fredrickson, The Client Attraction Mentor, is founder of the Client Attraction System™ and www.ClientAttraction.com, the proven step-by-step program to attract more clients, make more m’oney being self-employed, while having more time off to enjoy it all. To receive your F.R.E.E. Audio CD by mail and get weekly how-to articles on attracting more clients, visit www.ClientAttraction.com.

Make Your Message Irresistible and Clients Will Flock to You

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." — Bill Cosby

To attract clients consistently and with little effort, your marketing message must be clear and it must stand out. There’s no way around it. If what you say about your business and what prospects read about it isn’t sounding irresistible to them, they’ll move on to the next person. Guaranteed.

So, your task is to stand out from the pack and to make prospects really stand up and listen to what you have to offer. In my opinion, standing out from the pack is easiest if you have an expertise or a niche. (But you knew that already.) So, what’s stopping you? Well, after having worked with thousands of people on this issue, I’ve come up with 2 reasons why most people don’t niche:

1. They believe they’ll turn away opportunities if they go too narrow.
2. They wouldn’t even know where to start (and most are going about it the WRONG way).

Let’s start with the first point.

Believing that you’ll turn away clients and opportunities if you niche is actually completely and utterly invalid. It comes from a “lack” mindset, one based in fear. Ironically, the exact opposite is true. When you niche properly, you get more clients and Client Attraction becomes SO much easier:

• Your marketing message becomes crystal clear.
• Your marketing plan is SO much easier (and less costly).
• People perceive you as an expert (clients seek out experts).
• You get a lot more referrals than generalists do.
• Strategic alliances seek YOU out.
• You can charge more because you know more.
• You get sought out by the media (the media loves experts).

Once you get clear that it’s of absolute benefit to you to niche, your job is to do just that. And that’s usually the daunting part. There are many ways of creating a niche. Solopreneurs often don’t know where to start and if you ask me, people go about it in the wrong way (that’s probably why it’s so frustrating and why they’ve even stopped trying to niche). Here’s where they’re making a mistake.

Most people look on the OUTSIDE for a niche, when they should be looking on the INSIDE. Instead of TRYING to find a demographic that is more affluent, or more likely to work with you and forcing yourself into a particular niche, just because the numbers look good on paper, look for a situation or type of person you have an AFFINITY with, who can recognize that working with you is essential.

Hint: your niche is usually someone like you, who is in the “before” stage of YOUR own “before-and-after” story. This is really important. When someone is looking to hire someone in your industry, they’re looking for a SOLUTION to their biggest problem. Not only that, they’re also looking for reassurance it will work and their mo-ney will be well spent.

Essentially, many will come to you and pay you (well) to have you show them how to get to the “after” part of the story. That’s when using your Compelling Story in your marketing begins to REALLY make a difference in your Client Attraction. When you can tell your story, show your struggles, what you did to get over those, and what your situation is like now (and that you can help them do the exact same thing and, oh, you’ve actually got a Proprietary System that will walk them through it easily) they’re SOLD.

Right there, on the spot, they will choose to be your client. And you haven’t even opened your mouth yet! Your marketing message and materials did all the work for you. How cool is that?

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:

Instead of looking on the OUTSIDE for your niche, look for it on the INSIDE. Your best clients may just be the person experiencing the “before” part of your “before and after” story. A person in that position will look to you for the solutions they need and will probably do anything and pay relatively anything to work with you to get out of their situation. They’ll trust you faster than they would the average Joe and will look to you as their problem solver before anyone else.

Use your compelling story to pinpoint your niche. It can be either a type of SITUATION you’re solving or a type of PERSON you work with. Or it can be both, it doesn’t matter. They key is to have such clarity in your marketing (a niche) that clients and customers self-select and pre-qualify themselves to be your client, with little or no effort on your part. Then, they reach out to you without you having to do anything. Can you now see how much easier it is to have a niche? Good. This may just be the start of a whole new business and in-come level for you.

You may be having trouble figuring out your own Compelling Story, Proprietary System, and niche. If so, I recommend getting a copy of the Client Attraction Home Study System™. It gives you the most important things to do to figure this all out easily, and then set up simple, solid marketing systems, so that you consistently fill your pipeline and continually get new clients. It’s all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you’re done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. Easy. You can get it at TheClientAttractionSystem.com.

© 2007 Client Attraction, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Fabienne Fredrickson, The Client Attraction Mentor, is founder of the Client Attraction System™ and http://www.clientattraction.com/, the proven step-by-step program to attract more clients, make more m’oney being self-employed, while having more time off to enjoy it all. To receive your F.R.E.E. Audio CD by mail and get weekly how-to articles on attracting more clients, visit http://www.clientattraction.com/.