You’ll Never Be Fully Client Attractive When You Worry What People Will Think

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” —Dr. Seuss

Some solopreneurs go for their goals and Client Attraction assignments with amazing zest and enthusiasm. They’re the I-know-what-I-want-just-give-me-the-tools-and-let-me-at-‘em-Fabienne type of folks. Nothing gets in the way and they just get things done. The majority of folks, however, at one point or another, get stopped in their own marketing tracks.

It’s usually NOT a lack of how-to, but something else that invisibly stops them. You may have asked yourself, “If I know what I want, and I know how to do it, and it’s all spelled out for me here, then WHY am I not getting it done?” It’s frustrating and sometimes demoralizing, because we often end up beating ourselves up as a result. I know I have.

I call it the case of the missing obstacle. When you know something’s stopping you, when you’re sabotaging your own behavior, but you don’t know WHY, it’s time to delve deeper to see what the gunk is that’s underneath the surface. If you don’t figure this out, you’ll stay in the exact same ‘stuck’ marketing place and not grow your business.

Here’s a client example. “Susan” and I had been talking about sending out a specific letter to her network, for MONTHS. As I do with every client, I’ve given her 8 or 9 different examples of what the letter can look like. Heck, she probably even has it written already, but for some reason, it hasn’t been sent out yet. And every time I ask what’s going on, the answer is mumbled and unclear. I took a compassionately ruthless stand for her and asked if I could figure out with her what was going on. We dove in.

You hear people talk about ‘Fear of Failure’ all the time, but in my experience, ‘Fear of Success’ is just as prevalent. You see, Susan knows deep down inside that when she sends that letter of introduction about her services to her entire network (friends, family, clients, prospects, colleagues, former co-workers, etc.), she would essentially be ‘outing’ herself, she wouldn’t be able to hide and play small anymore. She would eventually get lots of clients as a result (it’s inevitable; I’ve seen it hundreds of times over).

This ‘Fear of Success’ was stopping her because it was combined with a nasty case of ‘Fear of What Others Will Think.’ What really kept her from sending the letter talking about her new business was imagining her former colleagues, those she did extensive training with, receiving the letter and thinking:

• “She is so presumptuous to think that I would want to help her.”



• “What has she DONE with her training?! This isn’t serious.”



• “What she’s doing now is flaky, shallow, and unprofessional.”



• “She had such potential as a blank-blank-blank; I can’t take her seriously anymore.”

But that wasn’t all! On top of all that, my client was also worried that if/when she fills her practice and becomes financially successful, people will envy her, will think she’s too good for them, and won’t like her (old gunk passed down from her mother).

No wonder she didn’t want to send the letter! The deep-seated fear of having colleagues disapprove of her, added to the fear that people won’t like her when she becomes successful, was almost unbearable. The thing is, none of these was valid; they were all self-created (we deflated each of these balloons down to nothing). So essentially, all of these fears were made-up, and null and void. She committed to doing the letter this week. It was a major breakthrough for her.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. I’m no stranger to the fear of what others will think. In fact, I was a pro at it, until recently. For 36 years, and until a few months ago, I would stop myself in my own tracks and not know why. Now, I’m a self-described high-achieving-go-getter and all that, but underneath, I played it safe for fear of what others will think, just because I wanted people to like me.

The thing I realized recently is that you can NEVER control what people think about you. Yes, you can do smoke and mirrors, fancy manipulation, and damage control, but in the end, people will think about you what they will, good or bad. And even if it’s GOOD, you can’t control it, because everyone’s thinking about others through their own filter. Each impression of you is filtered through their own experiences, their own fears, their own projections, and all that stuff you can’t control, even if you tried tirelessly.

So I have a new expression. It’s two words and it’s not appropriate for printing here (my clients know what it is), but when I start thinking about what OTHERS will think of me if I do something, I say it quietly to myself. Inevitably I smile, because it’s a little naughty, and then I go do the thing that’s going to move my business forward, no longer as worried about what others will think. It works for me and now a bunch of my private clients use the same unsophisticated, yet very effective technique. :)

Do you see how tricky this whole thing is? Getting stopped in marketing is not 100% lack of marketing knowledge. It’s also that OTHER invisible stuff, which is holding us back that we don’t see or can’t touch. And when you eliminate it, when you pop those balloons of fear and limiting beliefs, then there’s nothing left to hold you back.

You can then move forward easily, in marketing, in life, and into making what you REALLY want to make in your own business. Otherwise, you’re playing small and what’s the point in that? My friend Maria makes me laugh when she says, “Go BIG or go home.” It’s my new motto, and falls right in with the following quote. Although you’ve seen it a thousand times, it bears reading again, in light of what we’re talking about today:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” —Marianne Williamson

Your Assignment:

You can NEVER be fully Client Attractive when you’re worried about what others will think, when you shrink and minimize yourself and your talents for fear of making it big and then having others envy you. To get you out of your own way when it comes to marketing, I want to change the Dr. Seuss quote slightly:

“Be who you are and [get marketing] because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

That said, if you want to fill your practice FAST, you still need to know how to market your services. If you want to set up a step-by-step marketing system that feels easy and authentic to you, The Client Attraction Home Study System™ will help. With it, you’ll prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and avoid all the unnecessary stuff. It gives you the most important things to do to set up simple, solid systems to consistently fill your pipeline and continually get new clients. It’s all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you’re done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. So easy. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. You can get it at https://www.mcssl.com/app/adtrack.asp?MerchantID=51686&AdID=277692.

© 2007 Client Attraction LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Fabienne Fredrickson, The Client Attraction Mentor, is founder of the Client Attraction System™ and http://www.clientattraction.com/, the proven step-by-step program to attract more clients, make more m’oney being self-employed, while having more time off to enjoy it all. To receive your F.R.E.E. Audio CD by mail and get weekly how-to articles on attracting more clients, visit http://www.clientattraction.com/.

Aim For The 100% Referral Practice (It’s Simpler Than You Think)

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
--Maya Angelou

Referrals. Everyone wants ‘em, but few are willing to ask for them for fear of seeming pushy, desperate or sleazy. If you ask self-employed individuals how they would ideally like to build their businesses, they would tell you ‘by word of mouth.’ Why? Because…

• It’s an ongoing, renewable process.


• You don’t have to spend money on advertising.


• Referrals most often end up being high quality clients.


• You don’t have to build trust from scratch; it’s built for you.


• You don’t have to sell yourself (someone already did that).


• They come to you already pre-sold and often ready to buy.

Can’t beat it. But why are referrals so elusive, so hard to come by sometimes? I think that most people just aren’t familiar with the idea that you can actually DO something to generate referrals, beyond waiting by the phone or asking your clients over and over again, sounding like a broken record. Personally, that’s not my favorite thing to do, so I leave that tactic for the sales sharks out there. That’s just not my style.

The good news is, I have found some really good, authentic, and comfortable techniques for generating referrals. I personally have a handful of systems in place with every client to ensure that they continue to think about sending referrals and they inevitably do. I then turn around and teach them to implement these same techniques with their own clients, so they too have referrals coming to them effortlessly.

Now, wait a minute, before you start thinking, “Does Fabienne really have a 100% referral-only practice?” the answer is ‘No, of course not.’ I still market regularly using my own marketing plan. It works for me, as opposed to me working for it. And if you’ve worked with me privately, been to my live seminars or purchased the home study manuals, you know that each slice of the marketing pie works systematically and consistently to get you clients.

And ONE of the pieces of the marketing pie is setting up this Referral System. There are half a dozen elements to it, but today, I want to focus on one of the most important referral-generating techniques, so you can get closer to the 100% referral practice too. Getting referrals from existing clients. It’s all about how you make your client FEEL.

Now, you’d think that every client who experiences great results from working with you will automatically send you clients. Not so. For some reason, there are some who do talk about you and refer clients to you, and some who won’t do it automatically. But I’ve found that if you treat a client really well, and genuinely make them feel good, they just become your ambassador and start telling others about you, like crazy.

But it’s got to be authentic. If you’re pretending to make a client feel good and they see through that, you’ve lost the trust you had with them. Instead, look at how you can make each point of contact with them something that they enjoy or remember.

Obviously, you want to add Incredible Value. When a client is getting more than they expected or are paying for, they will most likely refer others to you, often. My purpose in coaching is to have the client receive so much more value than they’re paying for that, 1) cannot afford NOT to work with me and, 2) they cannot help but tell others.

When you offer Incredible Value, clients are telling others about you mostly because people are asking THEM what they’re doing to get clients so quickly, and they end up talking about you and referring you to others.

But here’s the key. If you’ve made them feel really good too, clients become really proud of your relationship, and they’ll want to tell others about you even more. How do you make them proud of the relationship? My answer is with integrity, caring, and by going above and beyond just for the sheer fun of it.

Your Assignment:

How does a client feel when they’re working with you? Like another notch on your belt, like your next mortgage payment, or like a cherished member of your inner circle?

• Do you pick up the phone genuinely excited to talk to them?



• Do you go out of your way to encourage them and make them feel good?



• Do you send them little notes or tell them you believe in them?



• Do you treat them like a friend and let them into your lives just a little bit?



• Do you take a ruthlessly compassionate stand for their success?

These may seem like little things at first, but working on this alone will generate more referrals. And adding it to other simple referral systems in your own Client Attraction System™ will fill your practice FAST. Trust me, setting up these referral systems is much better than waking up in the middle of the night, sweating and turning, thinking, ‘How am I going to get clients?’ When you strive for a 100% referral practice, you stop waking up in the middle of the night and you start THRIVING.

That said, you can’t fill a practice FAST on referrals alone. It simply takes time. So you’ll also want to set up a step-by-step marketing system that will feel easy and authentic to you. The Client Attraction Home Study System™ will help you to prioritize what to work on first, helps you clear the decks and avoid all the unnecessary stuff. It gives you the most important things to do to set up simple, solid systems to consistently fill your pipeline and continually get new clients. It’s all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you’re done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. So easy. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. You can get it at https://www.mcssl.com/app/adtrack.asp?MerchantID=51686&AdID=277692.

© 2007 Client Attraction LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Fabienne Fredrickson, The Client Attraction Mentor, is founder of the Client Attraction System™ and http://www.clientattraction.com/, the proven step-by-step program to attract more clients, make more m’oney being self-employed, while having more time off to enjoy it all. To receive your F.R.E.E. Audio CD by mail and get weekly how-to articles on attracting more clients, visit http://www.clientattraction.com/.

How to Prevent Ezine Writer’s Block

Clients ask me every week, “Fabienne, HOW do you come up with new content for your ezines every single week!? I can barely make the time to write one newsletter a month and I just don’t know what I’d talk about if I wrote it weekly or every other week! I’m busy enough networking, following up on prospects, setting up speaking gigs, and seeing clients that I just don’t have the time to create a brand new article each week!”

I don’t blame them. I used to think the exact same thing. When I first started with my ezine (“enewsletter” was the common term when I started doing one 7 or 8 years ago). I wrote it monthly, at best! Sometimes, MONTHS would go by without me working on one. And when I had my first child, I took an entire year of hiatus from my ezine.

To tell you the real honest truth, it wasn’t because I had a new baby that I didn’t want to write an ezine more often. The real story was that I knew writing one worked so well in attracting clients to me that I was afraid I would attract MORE clients than I could handle. I already had the clients I could handle, and I just didn’t want to be overwhelmed and feel I didn’t know if I couldn’t handle what new ones came my way. (Ever feel that?)

But since I rarely admitted that to others, I used the excuse that coming up with content each week was too hard; I just didn’t have the time that I needed to work on it. I imagined it taking hours and hours to work on one issue and I thought once a month would satisfy my subscribers. But I noticed one thing.

I was utterly FORGETTABLE when I wrote to my subscribers only once a month or every two months. My list wasn’t growing fast and I certainly wasn’t turning more prospects into paying clients with it. I realized that if I wanted to make this ezine thing WORK, then I had to commit to providing high-value, high-content credible ezines on a regular basis and more often.

Today, my ezine is responsible for bringing me the largest majority of my private clients, group clients and purchasers of my home study manuals. I believe it’s a combination of a lot of little things. 1) Creating the Know-Like-Trust factor; 2) being authentic about the struggles I have or have experienced and 3) hands-down, it’s deciding to send it bi-weekly at first, and then after a few months, taking the plunge and going weekly.

So, writing so often meant I had to figure out SYSTEMS for coming up with content and doing it every single week, because NOTHING is worse than sitting there, in front of your computer screen, being on deadline and not knowing what to write about.

With my many clients who are first-timers to writing articles more often, I ask them to make a list of topics for the ENTIRE year. So, if they’re writing bi-weekly, that means coming up with 26 topics by our next session, all in one fell swoop. Then, each time they sit down to write the article, all they have to do is pull out the list and write it, not have to futz around wondering what to write about. Much easier.

This gets them in the habit of writing regularly and we all know that once a habit is formed, it’s hard to break. (I actually look forward to writing my ezine each week. It feels like I’m talking directly to you and that feels like I’m creating that relationship even further each week.)

To be honest, I actually don’t write out a formal list for the year any more. That worked in the beginning for me. Instead, I keep a running list of possible ezine topics on my desk. Some months it’s an actual list on a piece of paper. Right now, I’m into these colorful sticky notes and I have a series of them posted to the right of my computer, each with a topic idea. When I use one idea, like today’s; I simply take the sticky note and throw it in the trash. One down!

The ideas come from a few different places, mostly from my work with private clients. For example, today’s topic came to me because I talked to several clients last week about finding content for their own ezines. If it’s something that they ask me about in private sessions, and it’s coming up often, then it’s probably something my readers who aren’t clients yet are interested in too.

Another source for content is more personal. I find that if I’m learning something new, working on a particular project, or encountering a specific obstacle in marketing, then you probably are too. So I write about that. I talk about the struggle or challenge, and then I share what my process was for solving it. Readers really seem to enjoy that and can relate more to me, even if we haven’t met in person yet.

The idea is to get over the fact that coming up with content is a struggle. Whether you write the list ahead of time for the entire year or you keep a running list of ideas that you add to each time you get inspired in the moment, it doesn’t matter. The key is to write it down and then create the article later.

Your Assignment:

Commit to reaching out to your subscribers more often. And once you do, start writing down some topics ahead of time, so that you don’t ever have to stare at a blank page, wondering what to write about, as the deadline looms. Create systems for this each week, using my ideas above or your own. Whatever’s going to work for you, as long as you systematize it. When you do, you’ll attract just the clients you need, without much effort at all. That’s what happened to me. :)

If you’re ready to write your ezine more regularly but don’t know where you’ll fit it in your schedule, it’s time to invest in the step-by-step marketing system that will feel easy and authentic to you. The Client Attraction Home Study System™ will help you to prioritize what to work on first, helps you clear the decks and avoid all the unnecessary stuff. It gives you the most important things to do to set up simple, solid systems to consistently fill your pipeline and continually get new clients. It’s all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you’re done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. So easy. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. You can get it at https://www.mcssl.com/app/adtrack.asp?MerchantID=51686&AdID=277692.
© 2007 Client Attraction LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Fabienne Fredrickson, The Client Attraction Mentor, is founder of the Client Attraction System™ and http://www.clientattraction.com/, the proven step-by-step program to attract more clients, make more m’oney being self-employed, while having more time off to enjoy it all. To receive your F.R.E.E. Audio CD by mail and get weekly how-to articles on attracting more clients, visit http://www.clientattraction.com/.

You Don’t Need to Learn MORE to Get Clients

"What you have to give is enough--if you give it with all your heart." --Chieko N. Okazaki

For years, I’ve noticed how many of my clients stopped themselves from marketing because they needed to learn MORE. They’d already gone through the required training, and many were certified, but it was like something strange was in the punch bowl and they were all drinking it: the “I’m Not Enough Yet” fruit punch.

Here are some of the things I heard and still hear today from some clients. Notice the ‘enough’ theme:

• I need to learn more to be credible enough.



• I need to be an expert for clients to want to work with me and since I’m not an expert, then I don’t believe I can do it.



• I'm not good enough, I don’t know enough.



• I don’t have enough experience.



• I haven’t studied enough.



• I’m not as good as my competitors, so I need to be more.

Some health practitioners were a perfect example of this. They didn't seem to be ready enough to get out there to attract clients, until they learned more about other holistic modalities: Reiki, herbs, yoga, acupressure, aromatherapy, Chinese Medicine, CranioSacral Therapy, Jin Shin Do, etc. Otherwise, they didn’t feel ready to go out there and market themselves in a BIG way.

I wondered where this was coming from. Was it a sense of not ‘being enough’ as a person? Was it a fear of really exposing themselves, meaning, if you’re not “ready” to market yourself fully because you don’t know enough, then you won’t really ever have to expose yourself and be vulnerable. Was it something about having to be a “good girl” and if you weren’t perfect, you weren’t “good.” Perhaps it was the sense that they weren’t whole and they needed more to “complete” them.

Whatever it was, I knew this was a bottomless pit. They would never end up feeling whole, just continuing to LEARN instead of DOING. What I was sure about, is that if you wait to know it ALL before you get out there and market, you’ll never actually get out there in a BIG way. There will always be hesitancy and we all know that “He who hesitates is lost.” This is a bit like Perfection Paralysis that I sometimes talk about. Except now, it’s a false sense of needing to BE perfect.

You don’t need to be the expert to do more marketing and to have clients. “Expert” is a relative term. I call myself a Client Attraction expert, but I’m not the only one who talks about marketing your practice so you can fill your practice. And I’m not the one who’s been doing it the longest. But I do have a way of doing it that no one else has, not just because of my System, but because of how I deliver the information and WHO I am. My knowledge, my own experiences, my methods, and my energy, all combine to make me different in the marketplace. And it’s the same for you.

You see, you can be an expert simply because you know more than the average person. Stop anybody on the street and ask them something technical about what you do (and take for granted), and the likelihood is, they won’t have any clue what you’re talking about. But YOU could do it in your sleep. If you are a holistic healer, knowing a couple of modalities or just simply how to make brown rice without burning the pot is enough to have people want to work with you. Heck, most people haven’t eaten brown rice other than in a Chinese food take-out container, let alone know what it’s good for! So, in that sense, you ARE an expert.

Dan Kennedy has a great saying: “Good enough is good enough.” Yes, you can learn MORE and I recommend you do. For example, I read more books, manuals, and home study systems on marketing, manifesting and self-improvement in a year than most people read in a lifetime. But I’m not waiting ‘til I know it all, because I never will and neither should you. But you better believe I’m still out there attracting clients, and so should you. Forget Perfection Paralysis! Just get out there more than you are now and it’ll all work itself out.

Your Assignment:

Don’t let the fact that you don’t know it ALL stop you from becoming a mini-expert. You know more than the majority of people and these same people NEED you to market yourself so they can find you. They need the solution you provide. Have confidence in what you do and then go for it.

Then, as you’re working with those clients, continually learn more, build a team of people and resources around you so that you always have someplace to turn for an answer if you don’t have it at your fingertips. Clients can wait 24 hours for an answer. They don’t care, they just want the answer! Remember, if you know that “Good enough is good enough” and you give it all you’ve got, you will always be enough and your clients will get just what they need. Now, go out there and do what it takes to fill your practice, OK?

If you’re ready to market more seriously than ever before but don’t know what to do first, it’s time to finally invest in the step-by-step system that will feel easy and authentic to you. The Client Attraction Home Study System™ avoids all the unnecessary stuff and instead gives you the most important things to do to set up simple, solid systems, so that you consistently fill your pipeline and continually get new clients. It’s all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you’re done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. So easy. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. You can get it at TheClientAttractionSystem.com.

© 2007 Client Attraction LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Fabienne Fredrickson, The Client Attraction Mentor, is founder of the Client Attraction System™ and http://www.clientattraction.com/, the proven step-by-step program to attract more clients, make more m’oney being self-employed, while having more time off to enjoy it all. To receive your F.R.E.E. Audio CD by mail and get weekly how-to articles on attracting more clients, visit http://www.clientattraction.com/.